Aftermath
by Jaaannn
Summary: We see Hermione shortly after the war. The aftermath can be more difficult than the fight itself. Oneshot.


A/N: So I wrote this this afternoon and I hope you all like it. It's short and it probably won't get a sequel but hey! Who knows, right?

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and I don't make money from this. (that'd be helpful though living on your own is hella expensive)

_Aftermath_

Hermione doesn't sleep anymore. She lies awake in bed and remembers every detail of the Battle. Vividly. Her friends have tried sitting with her until she fell asleep, but the darkness would not envelop her. She can hear them talking in the house when they think she's not paying attention. How wrong they are. All her senses are on sharp since that day, nothing will and can go by unnoticed.

"Here, I got this from mum. She said it should help you fall asleep." "I already tried Dreamless potion, Ron. It doesn't work. Thank you, though." She feels Ron sitting down on the bed next to her. "It's something else, mum altered it so it's a bit stronger but she's positive it will work this time." Hermione could feel the tension of unspoken words in the air. Last time she drank dreamless sleep potion, she woke up screaming the entire house awake. The nightmares came straight through the potion.

"I'll try it tonight, thank you." She leaned into him and sighed when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Is there any news?" She asked as she leaned into his embrace. "No, Harry and Ginny have been out all day, mum and dad are still with George. Draco is home, though, if you want to see him." Hermione shook her head. She didn't want to see him yet. _Couldn't see him yet._ They were quiet for a while, and Hermione got comfortable against Ron's side. "Do you think you could come down for dinner tonight? We all miss you a bit, you know." Hermione turned to look at Ron, who was blushing a bit. She smiled at him. "I don't know, Ron. I don't know if I can do it, yet." Ron nodded in understanding. "I get that, 'Mione, but you're gonna have to come down sometime. You can't hide in here forever." "I know. I'll think about it. I think I'm going to take a bath first though," she said.

Yawning, she got out of bed and watched Ron following her with worry in his eyes. She smiled, though her eyes didn't match her mouth. "I'll be fine, Ron. I'm not going to kill myself." Ron snorted and stood up. Hugging her, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and let his chin rest on her head for a second. "I know, I know. I just wish there was something I could do." Hermione hugged her arms around his torso. "Being here for me and not giving up on me is enough, Ron. I need to get through this somehow and knowing that you guys are here for me means more than you could imagine. Now shoo, I don't want you to see me naked." Ron grinned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Hermione got undressed. Everything hurt and her whole body was tired. She filled the bathtub and sunk into it, sighing as she could feel her body warm up. Being sleep deprived didn't only numb all her feelings; it also made for a constant state of coldness. Hence why she spend most days upstairs in bed, or next to the fire downstairs. A few days ago, Draco decided to stay at their house. She hadn't left her room since and she had also made it very clear that she didn't want to see him yet. Not because she was angry with him, or mad, or disappointed. She was scared as hell to see him. She knew that they were friends and that she should be able to tell hi everything, but she didn't dare. She was afraid everything would come out. From the fear she felt when she saw him with Voldemort, to the anger she felt when she thought he had betrayed them all and then the stupidity and shame that dawned on her when she realized he had been a double agent for them all along.

She closed her eyes and let her head fall over the edge of the tub. What a fool she had been. She had been ready to hex his head off, when she thought he had turned on them. She exhaled and tried to get a few minutes of peace and rest, but sleep wouldn't come to her. Instead, she reached for the floor with her hand and grabbed her edition of _Hogwarts: a history._ She head read it countless times, but it would have to do.

After a few pages, she checked her watch and realized it was later than she had thought. Not sleeping for days on end also affected her ability to read and think quickly. She got out of the tub and let it drain. She got dressed in fluffy pyjama bottoms and a large Gryffindor sweater she had nicked from Ron a few years ago.

"About time you got out of there, I've been here for hours." Hermione yelped and reached for her wand, until she realized the blond boy on her bed wasn't an imposter. Well, technically he was, but not really. "What are you _doing _here! You nearly gave me a heart attack," Hermione screeched. Draco smirked. "Easy Granger, you can get your heart attack later, we need to talk first." Hermione huffed. "We have _nothing_ to talk about. Except for why you're in my room. Without my permission. I could get your ass kicked out, you know." Draco shrugged.

"I suggest you try, you won't succeed anyway. Molly loves me too much. Plus I thought that since you wouldn't come to me, I'd come see you. When was the last time you slept?" Hermione rolled her eyes. Apparently, Ron and Harry had already filled him in on everything. "Tuesday, I think." "It's Monday, now," Draco said. "You haven't slept in a week?" Hermione shrugged. "I'm not sure. Sometimes I zone out and I think I've slept but then I don't think I did. What do you care? What's the last time _you _slept?" She walked over to her dresser and started to search for her hairbrush. She stole a glance at Draco in her mirror and looked down when she saw him staring at her. "That's not important," he curtly said.

"What's important is that you're not sleeping and you look like shit. Have you tried potions?" Hermione spun around. "I've tried everything, Draco. I've tried running until my legs gave up, I've tried reading until my eyes gave up, I've tried solving problems until my head gave up, hell, I even convinced Ginny to get drunk with me so that I'd pass out, but that resulted in throwing up and yet another sleepless night," she spat. She was furious at him, though she didn't know why. He hadn't given her a single reason to be mad at, yet here she was, yelling at him like she was a lunatic. Furiously brushing her hair, she pointed her anger at her unruly curls, instead of the unruly Slytherin on her bed.

Draco was quiet for a few moments. "What are your nightmares about?" Hermione dropped her brush in surprise. She coughed as she bent down to pick up the object. "I don't know what you mean," she unconvincingly said. "I mean," Draco said as he got up to stand behind her, "That I know bullshit when I hear it. You're not just sleeping because you _can't_, you're not sleeping because you _won't._ What are they about?" Hermione put down her brush on the flat surface and turned around, facing Draco.

"Do you really want to know?" She quietly asked, nervously tugging at her fingers. "Yes," Draco said. "Sometimes they're about my friends, you know. Ron, Harry, Gin, Molly and Arthur- I see them die over and over again and sometimes," Hermione paused to get her breathing under control. "Sometimes, I see how the world would be if Voldemort had won and it just feel s.. so _real_ and I can't..." She broke down crying, sinking to the floor as Draco held her. He positioned her so that she was sitting in his lap, her head resting on his chest as she cried for minutes. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried, talking quietly to her and rubbing his hand in circles over her back. After a while she calmed down and he shifted when she went to get up.

"I think you should go," she nearly whispered, her voice still rough from crying and her eyes still wet from tears. Draco got up and walked over to her, grabbing her arm as she made to turn away from him.

"You do this every time," he hoarsely said. "You let me in, you let me see what's inside and then you built op your walls higher and thicker than before. I'm asking you to let me _in_, Granger. Let me help you." "I don't need you to help me. I need to help myself. I need to figure this out alone without burdening everybody else," Hermione said with a shaky voice, tugging her arm free from Draco's strong hand. He dragged his hand through his hair and sighed exasperatedly.

"You _don't_ have to do this alone. Do you think you're the only one having trouble sleeping? Like hell you are. Ron and Harry are tossing and turning all night, Ginny has to come down to hold Harry because he has nightmares and have you seen Arthur the last few days? He looks older than the years he's walked around on this earth. Everybody is struggling, Granger, but they're letting each other in. Harry has Ginny, Ron has his family.. They're choosing not to go through this alone and it's _working. _You need to let people in Granger, because they won't let you down, but they'll feel like you let them down. And I know that's not what you want."

With that, he walked out of the door and into the hallway. He hadn't made it two metres before he heard Hermione step out of her room and into the hallway behind him. "I know that I can be stubborn," she admitted and she swatted his arm when he smirked. "I just find it hard, you know. I feel like I'm burdening everybody with my troubles because everybody is going through the same thing." She took a deep breath. "I'll try, okay? I'll eat downstairs from now on, I'll try to let them in. But that means that you've got to do that, too." She stepped closer to him when she could see something flash in his eyes. "Don't think I'm daft, Draco. I know you. You're not sleeping, either. You're not eating, you're not talking to anyone. We're going to do this together." Draco looked down at her and nodded in agreement. He wasn't surprised when she took his hand and walked downstairs with determination. Hermione Granger had never been one to hide.


End file.
